River Thames

Millennium Harbour. 2017 August.

I would look out of the window and see the river, always moving, never still. There were times when the river would be at full force with the water rising and other times it would be lying low. I often wondered, who is controlling this flow of water? And I never really cared about the answer because for me what mattered was the way in which the river would move and flow. It was never ever steady, it was never ever still.

Ironically, I feel like I am the river today because there is barely any moment when I am entirely still these days. There is always some movement in my body. Most of it is controlled, a little bit of it is uncontrolled and that is the beauty of nature. Because however hard your life may be, you will always find something in nature that you are able to relate to, that resonates with you, that helps you tell your story. And for me today, it is the river, the river Thames.

We lived in that flat overlooking the Thames for just under a year , a very eventful one because I fell pregnant with my first child. I also entered into motherhood during that year and we had lots of family and friends over in that flat. It was beautiful in every way but again I think it was calm before the storm. The storm that was going to hit me and my family in the form of Parkinson’s disease. A storm that changed our life, that is still causing us turbulent weather but we are learning how to brave that storm. Together.

Today even though I miss the river, I have not forgotten the lessons it has taught me. To keep moving and keep going because that is the nature of life and its ultimate purpose . 

Stillness was never meant for me, no, I was meant to keep flowing , just like the river.