I no longer fear ghosts and ghouls because I live with a monster every single day

Today being Halloween I can’t help but write about fear.

Fear takes on a new meaning when you are diagnosed with Parkinson’s at a young age. During the first few months after diagnosis you fear every single thing. But you learn how to manage this fear because PD gives you a different perspective on fear itself.When you are dealing with the unpredictable nature of the symptoms your entire mindset changes.

You no longer fear the superficial stuff like losing your youthful appearance, a game or sport and most of all the fear of what will people say or log kya kahenge.  You don’t have time to fear the things you once did. 

Your fears take on new guises- From brushing your teeth in the morning to carrying out daily tasks and finally trying to sleep as you fight insomnia and vivid nightmares. You fear how you will endure the vagaries of this condition. You fear the years ahead. You fear the reaction of your kid(s) Fear, fear, fear. 

You also begin to fear the important things like losing the people you love, losing your health, losing your self respect and dignity.

You focus your energy on getting through your day with as much resilience and gratitude that you can muster. And when you do this day after day without the guarantee of a cure, it bestows you with a kind of power. The power to carry on despite the fear.   

Here’s to my fellow warriors – You are powerful despite the fear. Keep going, keep moving