Dive

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I jump into the North Sea.

From the warm confines of my cruise cabin to the freezing cold water that cuts through my skin, I feel truly alive. This feeling lasts only for a brief moment, until the water pulls me inside it. My natural instinct is to fight so I flail my limbs as I gasp for pockets of air in-between mouthfuls of sea water gushing down my throat . Slowly the water enters my lungs. I try to breathe but cannot. So I surrender. 

I am four years old once again. I see my grandfather, his arms extended towards me. I swim towards him and he embraces me tightly . I am no longer shaking, I am no longer slow nor stiff. A quiet stillness spreads through me. I’m finally free, I am at peace.